grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
A bitchslap is in order.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
