he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
