Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
All the doctor said was why
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
