So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
