Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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