weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
