I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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