my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
