im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
