i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
