Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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