For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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