at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
