Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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