her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
