Where is the hickey?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
