Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
