Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
