How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
