Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
