I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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