I wanna bring you to show and tell
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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