An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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