Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
