just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
