i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
