To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
