i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
