New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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