Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
