He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
