Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
