i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
