Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize