Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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