Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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