Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
