do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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