Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
