just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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