What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
