By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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