So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
