you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
