Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
