Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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