Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
