I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
