there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
