I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
